Some Days...

sitting waiting here we go again
to school to school every day
what can i say
feeling so sad so misplaced
feeling alone lost
where is grace where is grace
am i just blinded cold and old
with changes
getting harder to bend
harder to fill these empty spaces
yes it will pass it will go it will fade
when i remember
this world to me is a mystery
it ain't that it is this
it is this gotta feel it
gotta taste it gotta live it
so lonely and cold
tell me why is it
am i young by myself in my heart
is it false
what do i need to let go of
maybe the feeling of ownership
maybe the labels i cling to
if i call myself artist or mother or woman
does it bring me worth
what am i without them
me
feel it burning yes i feel it burning
with its own light its own life its own fire and mystery
me
so i sit here and write it and know
we all die
so what is the point please
i need to know
just to live breathe and share what about those who suffer
i've got to name some things as wrong
all in my heart i feel pain
i don't want it
i'll read watch and play till i can't feel at all
will i can i do i make a difference
what if it's all down and down again down
no more i'm too tired exhausted and mired in the
proof of a heart that's too stupid to live in this place
too naive too untrained too beat down
i feel maimed by the living i've done and the
wars that i wage
all that i want is to sit in the love
to sit in the light to live on and on
it's not like that though
we're all going on and it's maybe today or next year
all i know is i'm scared and i'm old
and too young
i'm missing me missing me
come home now i'm scared
please can you stop for a minute let's talk
hold my hand hold this moment
it's over too soon
i'm hurting for family for friends for a heart
that won't hate too much hurt too much
please give me shelter
just for a minute for love and for strength
give me shelter
just sit with me here
till the dawn


mjp